I'm full of ideas! One after the other pops in my head like an oiled machine, one even more brilliant than the other, but at the same time I'm trying to execute them all, which of course is impossible, unless my name is superwoman, but unfortunately it's not.
So the past weeks I've been knitting, crocheting, looking at fabrics to make gorgeous dresses for the drop-dead-gorgeous-body I figured I'm going to create with this awesome workout I've found last year and a great diet
- which by itself took three weeks of reading tutorials, nutrition information and training schedule - in order to get the body I want (while inbetween the study, eating junk food, cause I'm working on an idea here and can't loose time with cooking!?) - which of course hasn't set any foot on the ground whatsoever.
So all in all I keep inventing the most awesome and exciting stuff, yet, none of all these so called "brilliant ideas" I've been hyperfocused on I have executed. I did that either half or not at all.
So instead of trying to figure out what to write about in my blog
However, It's hard sometimes having all these ideas, start hyper focusing on it, do research for days, sometimes weeks on tutorials and everything I want to know about the particular idea in question, but than when I all figured it out, It becomes boring when thinking of starting to execute it, because, after all, I now know all about the subject, so where is the fun then???
Next thing what happens is that I feel like a loser, cause I do know all about it now, but not doing anything! Yet, five minutes later I have a totally new brilliant idea, and so, gone is the disappointment in myself and I move on to that next brilliant idea, and again the same pattern repeats.....Enthusiasm, hyper focus, tutorials, lost days, weeks , and what follows next is the obvious.....a new idea appears on the horizon.
So, how on earth do I get to my blog that way???
I think I do have a lot to say and write about certain subjects and they always pop up in my head when I'm lying in my bed while almost falling asleep, and that is not the right moment to start writing, cause honestly, I'm already relieved I actually found my bed inbetween all these great and brilliant ideas...
Next day I have no clue I had this idea before falling asleep and the next brilliant thing has already taken hostage of my mind.
Jeeez!!! Just writing this exhausts me already on how I'm functioning on a daily basis lately.
I guess It's time again to give myself a firm kick in the ass here, cause I really like writing as I love having all these Ideas of creativity. I even haven't painted in months, that was about the long lasting passions I've ever had and still have, but hey, I discovered I can write too, so that is my thing now and I love it!
So how do people organize all these things with a job, kids and marriage?? Not to mention households too!! I wouldn't even know what is back and front anymore if I had to deal with those things too. Well, I do deal with household, but it's definitely not my greatest talent as you can imagine.
ADHD is a bitch, but at the same time it's so exciting what a brain can do once the interest or an idea is there in my head, It feels like a rollercoaster where I'm about to win the lottery or like I've just invented the wheel (if it didn't
exist already, of course).
It's not fair sometimes, but I wouldn't want to miss it for the world, cause the excitements in my head are constantly there and the disappointments are brief and at the same time I'm thinking; I wish I just had that little piece what most people have in their daily life, which is organising skills and the ability of setting priorities and follow through.
I know I can do it, but it takes so much effort and concentration where the hyper focus seemed to have totally abandoned me.
Anyway, I'm going to do my best to keep this blog rolling and hopefully one day readers will say; "What the heck?! You're still here?! Congratulations!!"
So writing this might actually have a purpose after all, cause if there is something that makes me feel like a total failure is that others will see it too, so this might properly just be the motivation and consistency I need in order to keep writing.
So no matter how many ideas pop in my head and how many times I will be distracted by some other brilliant idea I think I'm having....again! I'm going to do the best I can to keep changing and learning.
Now I'm tired though and hopefully tomorrow is a new day for brilliant ideas......for my blog that is! Just sayin'
Ps. Don't hesitate to give me feedback or ideas how to conquer this inconvenient flaw, I'd appreciate it.
Visit: Just Sayin
By Patricia Wahr