I've been an addict for years- one could almost say since birth- butI've only come to terms with it just recently. People often ask you what your drug of choice is when you go to rehab, or 12 step meetings, etc. My drug of choice is everything. You name it, I will try it and overdo it. I could get addicted to watering houseplants- that's how easy it is for me. I would call my addiction with drugs more of an obsession- because that's what it is. My desire to obtain, use and lie about my use is about 80% of what I have going on upstairs. Whether or not I actually do it depends upon two things: 1. Availability (do I already have the drugs? Can I get them quickly?) 2. The speed with which I can go from thought to using. If I haven't got drugs on hand, I have to make plans. And the longer I wait before getting those drugs... well, then my conscience kicks in. And that's where I am today- Hypochondriac out.



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