Yesterday I had to rethink if I wanted to make something so personal public , I know that I am leaving most of it out . ( the story ) still it is not for the faint hearted . It is hard to sit down and recall some of the most hurtful times in your life. After I wrote yesterday's post I really took 20 mins to sit in the quiet and reflect. That is what this is all about. But now suddenly I am wondering do I really want to have this all over the net. I am conflicted so I will continue and just allow small parts of what I have written that day. I am so damn sick of the drama of what is my life .I feel that it is time to move on. I can taste the bitterness of goodbye. I laugh when I am happy , I am a kind person and I will be the first to lead a helping hand . Too others . It's my turn. I don't want to offend anyone ,so if this is just too heavy for any of you .I am sorry and this is the great thing about the net F*cking "delete!!
Sometimes I can be a little too giving and nice, this is important to me . Please feel free to peek in on my troubled attempt to "heal thy self" . feedback is cool and another great thing is I can also delete. If you are following me at some point I will reveal all that I have written .
The bipolar in me is already thinking of names for my new best seller . haha, come on , I have to lighten this up a bit. PFFF
any thoughts?
Here is a small preview today's Heal Thy Self's writing : I have omitted the names of everyone out of respect to my little ones.
feel free to read or not.
my man (he was good-looking but now he was also a big dealer. ) Started with hang up calls, him not coming home, and the hitting and yelling became came more often along with the new cars the new house with the upstairs party room. The beating also bought along several people crashing in our house (on the white sands of Florida’s beaches. As I write this I can recall that I had choices, still I could have called at any time and my parents would drive down. I think I felt that I had to win. This happened with more relationships down the line. Instead of me working in a office, retail or elsewhere, I choose to apply for “Hooters”. This was the 80’s and everything was big, fun and for the taking. It was a good time to just be wild. It was accepted. Right before the interview I noticed that my ex was a big fan of the blond girls and trust me if you are not secure with yourself Florida is not the place to be. I went and dyed my hair blond, it didn’t take the first time and came out orange. I nearly fainted but as my ex was selling to the hairdresser it wasn’t a problem to get an appointment after the shop was closed. We all drank cheap champagne snorted lines on lovely plates . The beauty shop became the place to be. To this day I think that the blond hair came out great. However I sort of looked like one of “singing raisins from the commercial for Raisin Brand. Dark and sunburnt with this blond hair that was teased up so high…and to top it off these purple cheeks.
The day I had my interview for Hooters I was so nervous, if I didn’t make the cut that meant I wasn’t pretty enough. If you ran around in my group you would know that all the guys wanted a “Hooters Girl” and that maybe my main goal in life.
This also had something to do with the fact that my ex was cheating with a hooters girl. I had to find my way in.
Sometimes I can be a little too giving and nice, this is important to me . Please feel free to peek in on my troubled attempt to "heal thy self" . feedback is cool and another great thing is I can also delete. If you are following me at some point I will reveal all that I have written .
The bipolar in me is already thinking of names for my new best seller . haha, come on , I have to lighten this up a bit. PFFF
any thoughts?
Here is a small preview today's Heal Thy Self's writing : I have omitted the names of everyone out of respect to my little ones.
feel free to read or not.
my man (he was good-looking but now he was also a big dealer. ) Started with hang up calls, him not coming home, and the hitting and yelling became came more often along with the new cars the new house with the upstairs party room. The beating also bought along several people crashing in our house (on the white sands of Florida’s beaches. As I write this I can recall that I had choices, still I could have called at any time and my parents would drive down. I think I felt that I had to win. This happened with more relationships down the line. Instead of me working in a office, retail or elsewhere, I choose to apply for “Hooters”. This was the 80’s and everything was big, fun and for the taking. It was a good time to just be wild. It was accepted. Right before the interview I noticed that my ex was a big fan of the blond girls and trust me if you are not secure with yourself Florida is not the place to be. I went and dyed my hair blond, it didn’t take the first time and came out orange. I nearly fainted but as my ex was selling to the hairdresser it wasn’t a problem to get an appointment after the shop was closed. We all drank cheap champagne snorted lines on lovely plates . The beauty shop became the place to be. To this day I think that the blond hair came out great. However I sort of looked like one of “singing raisins from the commercial for Raisin Brand. Dark and sunburnt with this blond hair that was teased up so high…and to top it off these purple cheeks.
The day I had my interview for Hooters I was so nervous, if I didn’t make the cut that meant I wasn’t pretty enough. If you ran around in my group you would know that all the guys wanted a “Hooters Girl” and that maybe my main goal in life.
This also had something to do with the fact that my ex was cheating with a hooters girl. I had to find my way in.
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